When I was growing up, I vowed that I would never become a grumpy old man like my grandpa Eric. But here I am, at age 75, grumbling about things just like he did.
Illustration credit: Adobe Stock
I remember how he would complain about getting short-changed in minnows or nightcrawlers he bought at the bait store, the disrespectful boat fishermen who came too close when he was fishing from the bank, or the lack of patience we kids had when we fished with him.
My grumbling is based on an era Grandpa never could have imagined: the era of social media.
I’m as guilty as anyone of constantly scrolling on my cell phone, looking at endless posts about how to put fish in the boat. But that doesn’t mean I don’t have my complaints. Nothing gets me grumbling like a character in the movie “Grumpy Old Men” than the following types of posts.
Games of “Guess the Weight”
Too many anglers love to post photos of themselves holding a big fish, claiming they didn’t have a scale handy, and asking social-media users to guess the weight. A stream of viewers answer with their guesses and it becomes a giant waste of space. I would guess that many of those who answer never have caught a fish of that size, judging by their own guesses.
“Look at What Long Arms I Have”
Fishermen post photos of bass that they say were huge but that really show nothing more than the length of their arms, which distorts the size of the fish. I know: I’ve done it before. Very few of my fishing buddies fell for it, and I received my just ridiculing. “A three-pound bass made to look like a five-pounder,” one buddy said. I had it coming.
Fake News and Even Faker News
I am tired of seeing someone posing with an enormous wels catfish and another angler saying it was caught in the Missouri River. Then reading comments like, “I didn’t know the Missouri River had catfish that big.” Here’s news for you: It doesn’t.
Some anglers go beyond that. They will Photoshop an image of a huge fish they are holding and expect adulation from their followers. Look closer. It’s fake.
The Moral Authority
I am sick of anglers who demean others for using live bait. Just the other day, I saw one comment that read, “Live bait is like using the bumpers at the bowling alley and getting a 300.” Um, really?
I’m also tired of proud anglers posting photos of themselves holding a big fish and having multiple readers lecture, “I hope you released it.” Don’t get me wrong, I’m a big proponent of catch and release. But if someone catches the fish of a lifetime and wants to have it mounted instead of getting a replica made, they shouldn’t be treated like a criminal.
When the Fish Won’t Bite, It’s the Government’s Fault
Ever notice how some fishermen blame everybody except themselves when they fail to catch anything? First complaint: “The DNR sure has let this place go to hell.” Second complaint: “This place is fished out. DNR needs to stock it.” Third complaint: “My daddy used to catch huge bass out of this place. But it’s too polluted now. The DNR needs to do something.” All this, despite the fact that others are still catching plenty of fish from said lake.
My advice: Adjust to the times and learn where the fish are now, not where they were in the past.
Look at Me, Look at Me!
I don’t know about you, but I lose patience with some communicators who regularly post photos of themselves holding a fish. They fail to mention that those fish were caught on a guide trip. C’mon, give the guide at least a little credit and curb your ego.
Piles and Piles of Fish
I am really tired of the “Look at how many we caught!” photos. You know what I am talking about. The photos of guide parties posing beside a mountain of fish. Yeah, I know they caught their legal limit. But does anyone really need that many fish? To me, it reeks of greed. Assuming all of those fish were cleaned, it would make for one giant fish fry.
OK. Now it’s your turn to complain … about grumpy old men who are living in the past and still adjusting to this social media stuff.
