Life Upside The Head

“Whisper words of wisdom, let it be”¦”

Dateline: Life

There is a voice inside of me that screams in whispers.

It whispered to me as a baby.

It whispered to me as a child.

It whispers to me as an adult.

I believe it to be the voice of the universe.

Some call it God.

I don’t know about that, but I do know this.

You hear it to.

I do know this as well, it is our greatest gift.

It is the voice of truth. The guiding voice in our lives. It is the sound of not being alone even though you may think you are the only one there.

Life, talks to us.

In whispers.

“”¦there will be an answer, let it be…”

I may have cancer.

I may not have cancer.

A prostate thing.

After I told my family, my wife and my children, I pretty much told everybody else out there in this story I wrote on Bassmaster.com:

http://www.bassmaster.com/blog/536-pm

Nothing in that story is me talking; that story was written by the whisper inside of me.

What I am about to say next though is all me talking, and it may offend some; it may make some uncomfortable, but it is the whispered truth.

I needed that phone call from my doctor. I NEEDED him to start talking about the “C” word with me.

I needed “¦ life upside the head.

I’m so public about this “maybe cancer” thing because I don’t want others to go through it. I want all the guys who read me out there to go and get checked “¦ get regular physicals “¦ invest in your health, if not for yourself “¦ for those who love you.

That there IS me talking.

It is NOT what is being whispered in my head.

In the whisper floats just one word.

Not a word you would think. You would think the universe would be crying inside my head. You would think the universe would be all mad inside my head, you would think the universe would be all sorrowful inside my head.

But that’s not the whisper I’m hearing.

The whisper I hear over and over is simply this….

“¦”Good.”

And then I think I see the universe, smile.

Inside of me.

“”¦and when the night is cloudy”¦”

To be honest with you, I don’t care how the prostate biopsy turns out. I don’t believe that to be the point of all of this. I want it to turn out well because that would make my family feel better, and whatever makes them feel better is what I’m all about.

But the whisper within still whispers, good.

And I believe will do so regardless of the test results.

Cancer in any form, illness in any form, disease in any form, is a horrible situation, and I am horrified that I may have something like that growing inside of me.

If it is in there, I’m not surprised … just look at me “¦ for me to say this is just a total shock would be a flat out, go-to-your-room-without-dinner, lie.

The shock of all of this though comes in the whisper.

“Good.”

When I first heard it, I wanted to slap it. “Good? “¦ GOOD?” Whisper this you no-good universe whispering thing “¦

But “Good” I kept hearing.

And then, with the whisper, came the smile, and I got it.

“”¦there is still a light that shines on me”¦”

When I thought life was gone, did I want it the most?

When I thought life was gone, did I learn that life is not a given?

“Good.”

Did I learn that what you want to do in life, is not a given.

It’s a gift.

This thing we call life.

My life is a gift to me, your life is a gift to you.

All of our lives are a gift to all of us.

“Good.”

In our most private of moments, not so much now, but while Barb and I were driving back home from Alabama with the “C” word making the drive back with us, in all the things I could have said, should have said, I said this:

“The thing that bothers me the most is that there is so much more I want to do, want to accomplish, and I can’t believe that I may be running out of time.”

And here’s the thing”¦we are all running out of time”¦cancer or NOT. With our first breath on this planet, we begin to run out of time.

Life becomes us, death comes for us, from the get go.

But living life gets in the way of being alive.

Let me offer you this, now coming from experience instead of some sort of residual thing from growing up in the ’60s. First, go to the freakin’ doctor; go often as you get older. Get check-ups so you don’t check out early.

Then this “¦ listen.

Listen close to the whisper from the heavens.

I know you hear the whispers.

Cherish the whispers.

Follow the whispers.

Know this, when you hear “Good,” and feel the smile within”¦

“¦life the way we are supposed to live, is about to begin.

And it will be about love.

And it will be about kindness.

And it will be about others and not yourself.

And it will be…..

“Good.”